I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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