Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

Me too!

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim

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(415): View more from California

Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.

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(850): View more from Florida

my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?

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(314): View more from Missouri

Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.

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(206): View more from Washington

The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...

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(336): View more from North Carolina

We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.

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(804): View more from Virginia

I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.

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