Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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