it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
