oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
