The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
