friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
