Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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