So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
