hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
