Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
