Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
