just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
