Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
