everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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