when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
