why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
