she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
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