i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
