I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
