I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm sobbing to NWA
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
