We're facebook friends in real life
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
