Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
