I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Four minutes until I can fart!
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
