Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
