I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
