i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
