I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize