Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
