Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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