people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
