This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
