shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
bring money and cleavage
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
