belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
