my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
