Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
