dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Found the puke drawer
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
