I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize