I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
