I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
