We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
