just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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