Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
