Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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