I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
