somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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