Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
