My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
