like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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