i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
