i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Randomize