Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
