The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
is that a dick in a sweater?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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