I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
