Your face is a jimmy john
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
home. puking in laundry basket.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
