somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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