Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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