her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize