You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Enjoy the penises
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
