I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
