I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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