i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
