Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Sorry about my life...
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
