saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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