who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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