Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
