plz talk dirty to me
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
