On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
