weddingsv make me drug and hornr
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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